found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
