i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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