You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
