The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
