How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize