just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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