i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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