I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
