my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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