"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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