You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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