Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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