you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
tell me about the fingering
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