I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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