And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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