Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
