went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
