Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
