well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Will exercising make me less horny?
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