My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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