I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
