Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
