i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Is Oprah even human
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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