Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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