Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
