Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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