You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We were destined to go to rehab together
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
