And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
