he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
