so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
