I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
