he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize