Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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