He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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