My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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