I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
