yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
