between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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