i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
