I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
