I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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