Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
