I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
