It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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