hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
