we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
