i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
