i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
