My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
