i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
