Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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