FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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