i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Randomize
