3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
