For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
