shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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