imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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