Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my being single is dangerous.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
