Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
