The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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