if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
