I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
