I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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